So this had been a great week for me. My friend April and I have become quite close and our relationship has become more than the friendship we were merely looking for.
She means a lot to me and I think the world of her. Her family seems to see things differently, though. I'm apparently a bad boy in their eyes and they want to have nothing to do with me.
Their concern is a somewhat valid one. You see my divorce, which has been going on for 18 months or so, is not completely final. It is a huge source of frustration, b/c it is completely out of my hands. I don't know how to speed up this process or know when an end date will be accomplished. I can't even get a hold of lawyer to get an answer out of her. Phone calls don't get returned, emails unread.
So April's aunt and uncle, who she has lived with since her divorce last year, pretty much forbade her from seeing me anymore. They see this situation as black and white. They told her that even though I don't consider myself married and there's no way in he** I'm ever going to even try to reconcile, I'm still married and spending time with April is a form of adultery.
As much as I would like to tell them to blow it where the sun don't shine, I can't. To a degree I see their point, but I wish they would also see ours. Also, I don't want to cause a rift between them and April, they are letting her stay there rent free until she gets back on her feet. I'd hate to be the cause of any animosity between them.
So here I'm stuck in this weird limbo. I've finally found someone who I enjoy spending time with who seems to really like me as well. I'm in the middle of this stupid divorce and there's no way I'm going to let my guard down and concede anything for myself or my children, because of this turn of events.
Does anyone have any advice or thoughts? I could use a clear head to tell me what they think.
3 comments:
Wow. We never thought of you as a bad boy before. You need to go get a leather jacket! We are super happy that you have found someone that brings you happiness after such a crappy year. All I can say is time. Time is a good thing. Yes, your divorce will be final someday. I can see the point of the relatives even though it sucks. Have you talked to your bishop about advice or something. Depending on the Bishop, they can be helpful for spiritual support. I think it is wonderful that you are looking out for your kids. They really need you right now and from the looks of it, you are doing a great job. Don's uncle has been married 3 times. The first wife was similar to your experience. The 2nd wife I think he jumped into too fast and didn't look clearly at the situation or the person. The third marriage was actually the best one. This is the woman he should have married a long time ago. However, she was also married previously, so you see it all worked out. The sad part is I think his kids suffered a bit with he 2nd and made some bad choices later on. I don't think that will happen in your case, but I think dating after divorce is slow going. You are right to do the right thing, even though it is frustrating. You will be blessed and your children will be happier. Emails and lunch dates are good too. Well, hope things look up for you. We are pulling for you. It really will be free and clear someday. I am still laughing a bit at the bad boy part.
I think we should send "Get Gephardt" to stalk your lawyers office. That's the only way to finalize the divorce, right?
Patience, young Skywalker.
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